


Moving On...

by itskitsworld



Category: Critical Role (Web Series), Original Work
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-02-21
Updated: 2021-02-21
Packaged: 2021-03-17 18:28:44
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,213
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29596944
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/itskitsworld/pseuds/itskitsworld
Comments: 1
Kudos: 2





	Moving On...

Vi had finished packing the last of their things from the dorm. There was an apartment waiting for her, one of the smallest in the Candles but paid for by the Assembly. This was given the recent success of her mission, taking out the son of a diplomat from Vasselhiem who had been spewing anti-Empire propaganda to his friends. It was a quick job, an easy job. Apparently he was quite fond of half-elves, so leading him into a darkened corner was quite simple.  
She had expected to feel something, anything, but in all honesty it felt like her job. It was worse to feel nothing, and she had spent the next three days wondering what she would have felt if she was still the person she was before.  
There was a huge question mark over her life. Vi was always in control, and this made her feel out of control. But who could she ask. Who could she talk to? The kid from the bookstore? They seemed like if she blew on them too hard they’d break. If she saw Tenen again, she wouldn’t be asking questions. Apparently she and Evie… No. Which seemed to leave Eleanor.  
Vi didn’t know why she felt anger welling inside her when she thought of Eleanor. Betrayal. They barely knew each other… Or she barely knew her. How close were they? Why had she just let this happen? It just didn’t make sense to her.  
Vi sat on the bed. Ever since that night, everything felt off. And she needed answers. She needed to know.

  
__

Vi kicked the chair out from beside the table, pulling it out further and sitting down. She crosses her arms over her chest, eyes fixed on the girl across from her.  
“I know. I know there’s something up and I just need to know why?”

Eleanor jumped a little when Vi arrived, too caught up in her studying to have spotted the other girl’s arrival. She looked her up and down, eyebrows raised. “Violet, there’s a lot that’s up at any given moment here. I think we both are acutely aware of that fact. Would you mind clarifying for me, dear?”

“Don’t call me Violet.” She had tensed slightly at the use of her full name, eyes growing a shade darker before she looks away again. “I wondered why, after years of us barely interacting without being forced, you had come to sit with me. One thing after the other, it just didn’t make sense, like there was something I was missing. I was right. Why didn’t you say anything?” Her voice was surprisingly level for how angry she had been, a lot of the fight seeming to have left her through the explanation.

“Ah.” Eleanor leaned back in her chair a little, fixing Vi with a careful gaze. “I see.” She wasn’t sure how Vi had learned, but… Fair enough. “If I’m being honest, Vi… I went on a mission that went poorly, I got back, and there was my sister’s girlfriend after two weeks of being absent without a word. But you were acting strange, and apparently missing memories. I didn’t say anything because I didn’t know what had caused it yet, and I wanted to gather information. Then I went to Evie, and she was missing memories as well. Including all of the memories of you. So I’d wanted to learn about that as well, and… Protect her. You weren’t the only thing missing from Evie, and I wanted to learn what and how.” She sighed, shaking her head. “Might not have been the best way to handle it, but… You know me, at least enough to know that Evie is the most important thing in the world to me.”

“So… that. The girlfriend thing. That. Ah.” She looked away slightly, wondering how the hell that happened. “I get the thing with your sister sure, but… I don’t know. The kid made it out like we were friends. I just… I still don’t understand why you didn’t say anything to me. Especially since they seem like separate incidents. I’ve been walking around like an idiot.” To her, it seemed entirely different situations, one could help with both if they actually cared.

“Yes. That.” El looked down at her notebook, closing it. “Yes, I think we were… Friendly, at least? You and I had a bit of a harder time being friends, unsurprisingly. And your memories being altered are separate incidents, but at least some revolve around similar subjects, so I’m a bit hesitant to just say something without knowing what’s happening. I’ve made that mistake far too many times, especially as of late, and I’d rather avoid it again.” Her shoulders sank a little, and she looked down. “I’m trying to keep Evie safe. Some of her missing memories would hurt her, more than I’m willing to test. And… I hate to say it, especially to your face, but as much as you two cared for each other, things seemed stressful. You’re a very closed-off person, Vi, in case you hadn’t noticed. Evie… Isn’t. And that was a lot more upsetting than she was willing to admit.”

“This isn’t about your sister though. Or our relationship, whatever it was. I don’t remember any of it, I don’t even know what to think of it, it seems so alien to me… but...” She shakes her head, feeling the nails digging into her palm. “Fuck it. I don’t even know why I’m talking to you. I’m probably better off right? If no one cared enough to look or do something for two weeks when I was on campus the entire damn time… whatever. I don’t need to feel shitty about it.” She leaned back in the chair, crossing her arms and looking away. “I wasn’t built for friends.”

“I was gone for most of it, Vi. And we’re no strangers to one of us disappearing, either. I got called away on a mission partway through when you were gone.” El’s tail flicked, and she shook her head. “I couldn’t exactly help that, unfortunately. Da’leth is… Particular like that.” Her face drew for a moment, tense and more than a little anxious. “And like I said. I wanted to know what was happening, make an informed decision. And… I just want Evie to be safe and happy. As much as I can make that happen.” She turned, meeting Vi’s eyes. “I am sorry for not telling you what was happening. But I’m not going to apologize for protecting Evie.”

“I’m not asking you to.” Vi shifted in her seat, a hand wrapping around her forearm, tracing the scars. “Protect her while you can. One of these days it’s not going to be enough.” She held Eleanor’s gaze. “I don’t only exist in relation to Evie though. It wasn’t one or the other. Whether or not you decide her memories being gone are good for you or not, I’m still here-I was, at least.” Her face was a mask, nothing in particular peeking through. “I’d check in on your half-elf friend though, they didn’t seem to be doing too great.”

“I’m doing everything I can to keep her safe for as long as I can.” Eleanor’s face hardened as Vi spoke, hands clenching for a moment. “I don’t give a fuck about if they’re good for me or not. And in case it wasn’t clear, I wasn’t planning on keeping things from you forever, either. I just wanted to understand, first.” Her tail was flicking back and forth, irritation clear. “If you mean Leo, I do intend to check with them again soon. But they’re quite upset with my choices, too. Not unfairly so. I’m not about to claim that what I’m choosing to do is nice or kind or honest. But knowing me, who I am, are you really that surprised?” She had a stony expression to mirror Vi’s, silently challenging the half-elf to question her motives. “For now, I’d imagine people think I’m backsliding into who I was before. But I don’t mind being a disappointment.”

“I have no clue what your plans were or not.” At the name, Vi nods. “Yeah, them. Seemed pretty upset that I didn’t recognize them. A little fragile. I probably didn’t help, not exactly good with people and emotions.” She makes a slight face. “I have no reason to be surprised or not. I really don’t know you, maybe once I did, or thought I did, but especially not now. I mean, I had opinions, that you were a little cold, not exactly nice, but I don’t know. This-”, she gestures vaguely, “I really don’t think I would have guessed you could have done all this. I see now more than ever why you were chosen for the program honestly. I underestimated you.”

“They’re very emotional. But they’ve got a good heart, and care about people. Just… Not good with secrets, Leo.” Eleanor shrugged, arms crossing. “I don’t know what’s so surprising, Vi. We’ve been in a bit of a rivalry our entire time at the Academy. I’ve spent a lot of time to cultivate the reputation of being ruthless and cold, and it’s not exactly a lie. How I feel about things… That’s not as important right now, and I won’t let something so silly as my feelings get in the way of the best choice.” She raised an eyebrow. “And honestly, Vi, you’ve always been skilled with lies and manipulation. You can’t be surprised that I’m a liar, too. It’s part of our program.”

“Now I’d think you were a really skilled liar if you pretended to actually be a nice person. That would be the best trick I’m sure.” She crossed her arms. “I’ll be honest… I was never particularly in a rivalry with you. I found your sister to be good competition, but you were… inconsequential. As I said though, I underestimated you. Clearly you’ve grown, if I was going to stick around I’m sure it would be a lot more matching of wits than before.” Vi shrugs. “The thing I feel right now… anger. I’m fucking pissed off at the world right now. But that’s not exactly unusual for me. Good emotion for our program, I’m sure.”

“But then people would talk to me, and I wasn’t interested in that.” El laughed softly, shaking her head. “And you underestimating me was rather the point, wouldn’t you think? I’m not going to be insulted by that. Tenen’s said worse, and so has Leo, and they haven’t broken me down. So I don’t think third time’s the charm.” She hummed, head tilting. “Are you? Angry? That sounds like more energy than anyone deserves devoted to them, but I suppose I’m flattered. Is that what had you come to me? To lecture me, insult me, tell me you’re angry with me? Because if that’s all, this is quite a lot more effort than I expected.”

“I never said I was angry at you. I’m just… angry in general. I’m not trying to lecture you. Insult, absolutely, but that’s expected at this point.” She waves her hand dismissively. “Don’t worry, I’d have to care to devote enough energy to be mad at you. Though to be honest, if I did have to pick a person, you just named him. That asshole stole a fuck ton of expensive components from me.” Her hands ball into fists, a cold chill going down her back.

“Fair enough. But this is a long way to go to insult me. You ask for an explanation, I give one. You were simply lower down my priority list. A friend, yes, but… Also, no. Losing yourself, your memories… Are you still the same person, then? If that person is erased, are they really you?” At the mention of components, Eleanor tilted her head. “What were the components for, that they were so expensive and he stole them? I’d say it seems unlike him, but I think he’s lost his fucking mind over the last month.”

“No more out of the way than usual. You do make it quite easy.” She raises an eyebrow. “I seriously doubt I’m that different. I’m still the same person I was before the school year started, I just apparently have false memories of what’s happened this school year so far. I really can’t think anything that drastic would have happened to change who I am as a person, fundamentally.” She shrugs, leaning the chair back onto the back legs. “Ruby dust, for a simulacrum. It was supposed to be mine, I was going to use it to study higher level illusions and get a jumpstart on learning how to manipulate them, as I do, but instead he made it into himself and ran away when I tried to damage the creature so he couldn’t use it. Asshole, as I said.”

“I don’t know, you were… Softer. You and Evie cared a lot, and I got to see a different side of you. But I’ve changed, too, so there’s only so much to be said.” Eleanor’s eyebrows flew up, face a little pale. “Tenen has a simulacrum?” Her jaw clenched for a second, surprise and concern written on her face. “That’s dangerous. I’m… I need to talk to a few people about that. Fuck.”

“Yeah well, soft things don’t normally last long. I was probably all gooey cause I had a girlfriend or whatever. It’s probably for the best.” The tips of her ears still turn a bit pink, before she shakes it off. “Yeah, he does. Why would that be dangerous exactly? I agree with the… slightly manic energy he gives off but I doubt anything will happen cause he has a double now.”

“I mean, the two of you loved each other. So at least you know you’re capable of it.” El sighed, running a hand through her short hair. “Not in and of itself, but what he can do if he has a simulacrum around. It means he can fuck off with none of us the wiser, for starters, which is very concerning. I don’t know what he’s planning on doing with it exactly, but I can’t imagine it being anything good.”

Vi tensed slightly, eyes moving to Eleanor, but quickly dismissed it. Whatever it was… whatever it could have been… it’s over now. No sense in being too curious. "He certainly sounded like he had some plans. Travel. Not like the spell isn’t something that can be seen through. It’s a magical illusion, not exactly impenetrable. Plus if it’s not uncommon for friends to disappear why would that be any different if he did?”

“Tenen is different. He can’t--he shouldn’t--” Eleanor huffed, shaking her head. “He’s not one of us. And because of how strange he’s acting, it’s… Worrying.” She frowned. “I don’t know. But that’s… I guess you shouldn’t be too concerned, if you’re not his friend.” Then she sighed again, rubbing her face for a moment. “But yes. You and Evie. I don’t know if you want to know more, and I’m fine telling you if you really do. You deserve to know.”

“Definitively not his friend. Neither of them.” Vi crossed her arms. “I didn’t ask for any more. If I don’t remember her and she doesn’t remember me, it’s over. It was always just a schoolgirl crush anyway, so why try to make whatever it was into something now?” She pushes the chair onto the back two legs again, sighing. “He said he was going to Hupperdook. Trying to recruit Elbridge to go with him. Interested in constructs… Golems. If you care enough to be worried about him, you should have all the information, right?”

“You and him never much got along, so I guess that makes sense.” El raised an eyebrow. “A fair point. And I mean, I wouldn’t call it a crush. Like I said, you two cared very much for each other. But ultimately, yes, I would say it’s over.” She huffed out a sigh, running a hand through her short hair. “Elbridge, too? That boy doesn’t deserve more fucking trauma, he’s been through enough. This is very helpful information, Vi. I owe you for this.”

Vi hears familiar voices ringing in her ears, and she shifts in the chair. “I appreciate that, but I doubt I’ll take you up on it. I’m moving off campus, and won’t be around anymore. Given the successes of my recent missions… It’s probably best for me to just stay out of it from here on out. No sense in trying to get in the middle of things now.” She shakes her head, adjusting her glasses.

“I mean it. You can message me, or… Fuck, I don’t know.” Eleanor sighed, fingers drumming on the table for a moment. “I understand, though. If I were in your shoes, I’d probably want nothing to do with any of this. It’s a fucking mess, and I think it’s bullshit that so many of us are being messed around with by the people whose care we’ve been entrusted to. But there’s not much to do about it, I suppose.”

“It’s not about if I want to or not, I just don’t think it would help if I were to try to get back into the middle of everything. It seems complicated enough without me.” Vi tilts her head at the next part. “It may be bullshit, but I’m sure they have their reasons.” They all must have their reasons. Something must have happened that this was the best thing to happen. It wouldn’t make sense otherwise.

“That’s a fair point. And I mean, I’m sure they do. But that doesn’t mean I agree with those reasons.” Eleanor clenched her jaw for a moment, then shook her head. “I don’t think Evie or I have messed up so much that we deserved this, though. Her eye, my scar, what he’s made us do… I don’t know if it’s as worth it as we’ve been told to believe.”

“Better just not to make mistakes. The response… may not be proportional to what’s happened, but there’s not much one can do on that.” Vi taps their fingers on the table. “It’s worth something at least, what that is would be different for each of us.”

El shook her head again. “Better to not punish those who are learning for not being perfect on the first fucking try.” She was frowning as she looked down at her hands. “I truly hope you believe that it’s worthwhile, Vi. It’ll keep you happier. I just can’t say I believe the same.” After a moment, she gathered her things. “Was there anything else you wanted to say before we end this conversation? Any digs, insults, the like. Because I’m not sure what else you’re hoping to gain, or what else I have to contribute, and I’m getting tired.”

Vi sets her jaw to the side, pushing back in the chair. “No, I’ve got nothing else to add.” She stands, pulling her bag over her shoulder. “Good luck with all… that.” She gestured vaguely, turning away, but doesn’t move. After a moment she turns back. “Just… take care of that Leo kid.” Vi shakes her head, and walks away.


End file.
